“Pet Goat Pedophilia: 2012 Film Predicts Pedophilia Disclosure Under Obama Presidency!”


Every Simpsons Ever…Featuring Pizza!

On August 21, the FXX network began airing every Simpsons episode ever. The 552 episode, 278 hour Simpsons marathon is lasting until September 1st. If there’s any television show out there that loves pizza as much as Encyclopizzeria does, it’s the Simpsons. Throughout its 25 seasons, the show has mentioned pizza in more than 100 episodes! To celebrate, we’ve compiled a comprehensive list so you can follow along during the FXX marathon. Now, call up your favorite Luigi’s, order in a large cheesy pizza, and start watching every Simpsons episode ever. Tell us about your favorite pizza references in the comments section below and make sure to show your love of the Simpsons and pizza on Twitter using #EverySimpsonsEver!

Season 1

“Life on the Fast Lane”

airs 8/21 2:00 p.m.

Homer: Now this is living, hey, kids? Hot pizza–the food of kings.

Season 2

“One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish”

airs 8/21 9:30 p.m.

Homer: Bring 50 bucks for bail!

Barney: 50 bucks? What did you do? Kill a judge? Where am I gonna get 50 bucks? Pizza!

“Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment”

airs 8/21 10:30 p.m.

Reverend Lovejoy: Today’s Christian doesn’t think he needs God. He thinks he’s got it made. He’s got his hi-fi. His boob tube.

And his instant pizza pie.

Homer: Ooh, pizza.

“Brush with Greatness”

airs 8/22 1:00 a.m.

Homer: I’m going on a diet! From now on there’ll be no pork chop too succulent, no donut too tasty no pizza too laden with delicious toppings to prevent me from reaching my ideal weight! As God is my witness, I’ll always be hungry again!

Season 3

“Bart the Murderer”

airs 8/22 5:00 a.m.

Marge: Bart’s been acting very strangely and that pizza delivery truck has been parked across the street for two weeks.

Agent 1: How long does it take to deliver a pizza?

Agent 2: Our cover’s blown.

“Homer Alone”

airs 8/22 10:30 a.m

Marge: Fruit leather…Tree Fresh imitation orange drink…Krusty brand duck sausage pizza

“Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?”

airs 8/22 3:00 p.m.

Bart: Uncky Herb, what advice would you give to a boy who will most likely become a bum like yourself?

Uncle Herb: Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese.

Season 4

“Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie”

airs 8/22 6:00 p.m.

Marge: Now, be good for Grampa while we’re at the parent teacher meeting. We’ll bring back dinner.

Lisa: What are we gonna have?

Homer: Well, that depends on what the teachers say. If you’ve been good, pizza.

If you’ve been bad uh, let’s see– poison.

Lisa: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?

Bart: Poisoned pizza.

Homer: Oh, no. I’m not making two stops.

Marge: Well, we brought some pizza.

Marge: Bart, we’re sending you to bed without your supper.

Bart: Yeah, right. Like you’re gonna let me go hungry.

I’ll be eating that pizza in five minutes.

Marge: Bart, stop being confident.

Homer: Don’t tell your mother, but I brought you some pizza. Just promise me you’ll try to be good.

Bart: I promise.

Homer: That-a-boy.

Bart: Sucker.

“New Kid on the Block”

airs 8/22 7:00 p.m.

Delivery Boy: Uh, there’s a pizza here for–

Homer: Right here!

Season 5

“Marge on the Lam”

airs 8/23 5:00 a.m.

Homer: Solid waste. I could kiss you. Yech. Ew. Ugh. Ooh, I think this was pizza!

“Homer Loves Flanders”

airs 8/23 10:00 a.m

Lisa: What’s so special about this game anyway? It’s just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world’s largest pizza, so we burnt down their city hall.

“Burns’ Heir”

airs 8/23 10:00 a.m

Mr. Burns: If you stay, you can have anything you want to eat even some sort of gelatin dish. It’s made from hooves, you know.

Bart: Anything, huh? Okay. I want pizza and I want it delivered by Krusty the Clown.

Krusty: Hey, it’s Krusty the Pizza Man! All right. Where’s my 400 bucks?

“Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song”

airs 8/23 11:30 a.m.

Principal Skinner: I thought you might like this restaurant, Bart. They’ll make a pizza pie with a topping of your choice.

Season 6

“Lisa on Ice”

airs 8/23 5:00 p.m

Chief Wiggum: Oh, yes, we won! We won! We won! Unfortunately, since I bet on the other team we won’t be going for pizza.

“The Springfield Connection”

airs 8/24 12:30 a.m.

Chief Wiggum: You think you’re pretty hot, huh? Well, we got everything we need on you.

Marge: Excuse me.

Chief Wiggum: What? What? What? What? What? What? This better be about pizza.

Season 7

“Bart Sells His Soul”

airs 8/24 3:30 a.m.

Lisa: How are the southwestern pizza fingers?

Moe: Uh, they’re, um, “awesomely outrageous.”

“The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular”

airs 8/24 6:30 a.m

Marge: Mm, lawyers, lawyers, lawyers- Ooh, Lionel Hutz! “Cases won in 30 minutes or your pizza’s free.

Lionel Hutz: Well, I didn’t win. Here’s your pizza.

Marge: But we did win!

Lionel Hutz: That’s okay. The box is empty.

Season 9

“The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson”

airs 8/25 3:00 a.m.

Vendor: Fresh Khlay Kalashl! Get your Khlay Kalashl!

Homer: Hey, could you go across the street and get me a slice of pizza?

Vendor: No pizza. Khlay Kalashl!

“The Last Temptation of Krust”

airs 8/25 10:00 a.m.

Krusty: Uh, what about two-cent stamps? Pizza pie is very hot these days.

Can’t open pickle jars. No mail on Sunday. Out of paper towels.

Season 10

“Lard of the Dance”

airs 8/25 3:30 p.m.

Luigi: Hey, Luigi bring you kids free pizza. Why you have to make the fun? Huh?

“Sunday, Cruddy Sunday”

airs 8/25 9:00 p.m.

Homer: Two pizzas for the price of one at Doughy’s!

Lisa: Doughy’s has terrible pizza.

Homer: Yeah, but there’s two!

“Simpsons Bible Stories”

airs 8/26 12:00 a.m.

Lisa: It’s the rapture! And I never knew true love.

Homer: I never used those pizza coupons!

“Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo”

airs 8/26 2:30 a.m.

Lisa: There’s a cybercafe opening right here in Springfield. Will you take me, Dad? Please? I’ll show you how to order pizza over the Internet!

Homer: The Internet? Is that thing still around?

Season 11

“Guess Who’s Coming to Criticize Dinner”

airs 8/26 4:00 a.m.

Homer: I like pizza, I like bagels I like hot dogs with mustard and beer!

Critic: The only bad review you gave was to a slice of pizza you found under the couch.

Homer: It lost some points ’cause it had a Hot Wheel on it.

“Days of Wine and D’oh’ses”

airs 8/26 11:30 a.m.

Homer: Hey, Vinnie. How’s about a pizza? I got-a no job.

Season 12

“Homer vs. Dignity”

airs 8/26 4:00 p.m.

Marge: Look, it’s the Noid! Avoid the Noid. He ruins pizzas!

“Pokey Mom”

airs 8/26 6:30 p.m.

Principal Skinner: Now, uh, pizza’s working well on Thursday. But I think the kids will follow it to Tuesday.

Groundskeeper Willie: That’s what you said about the stuffed peppers, and you lost the young males!

“Tennis the Menace”

airs 8/26 7:30 p.m.

Chief Wiggum: All right, all right. You guys can have Serena.

Serena: I just ate a personal pizza.

Season 13

“A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love”

airs 8/27 2:00 a.m.

Homer: Can I have some ice cream? I finished my pizza.

Mr. Burns: In time, in time.

“Weekend at Burnsie’s”

airs 8/27 8:00 a.m.

Mr. Burns: Now, we’re ordering out. What would you like on your pizza pie? Extra cheese?! What do you take me for? Lorenzo de’ Medici? See you soon.

“Gump Roast”

airs 8/27 8:30 a.m.

Marge: Now before we get there, you have to put this blindfold on.

Homer: All my other senses are getting sharper! Bart, you had pizza for lunch. Lisa, you’re extremely depressed.

“I Am Furious (Yellow)”

airs 8/27 9:00 a.m.

Principal Skinner: And in a gutless act of political correctness, Pizza Day will now be known as Italian-American Sauce Bread Day.

“Little Girl in the Big Ten”

airs 8/27 10:00 a.m.

Lisa: Oh, my God! My social studies project is due tomorrow morning!

Professor: Did she put in for the pizza?

“Poppa’s Got a Brand New Badge”

airs 8/27 11:00 a.m.

Luigi: Hey-a, Officer Homer. You look-a hungry. I shine-a you up a nice big pizza.

Homer: Oh, man, I love this song!

I’ve been drivin’ all night and I’ve got sweat on the wheel

There’s a voice in my head that drives my heel

It’s my baby callin’ on the telephone

I got some pizza and I’m bringing it home

Marge: Fat Tony, how can you do this?

Fat Tony: Sorry, but this is the business we’ve chosen.

Marge: But you’re just perpetuating a negative Italian-American stereotype. I mean, you could be a pizza man, organ grinder, leaning-tower maker, and did I say pizza man?

Fat Tony: You are listing my broken dreams.

Season 14

“How I Spent My Strummer Vacation”

airs 8/27 12:00 p.m.

Lenny: Wow, Homer. I ain’t had front row seats since my Moonie wedding.

Homer: After the show, you can come backstage for pizza and pop.

Carl: Yes! – All right! Now, that’s a winning combination.

“Special Edna”

airs 8/27 12:00 p.m.

Marge: Wow, this restaurant is so international. “Le Pizza, Der Hamburger, Señor Grilled Cheese.” I hope I don’t accidentally order an elephant!


airs 8/27 6:30 p.m.

God, look at you, losers. I can read your minds.

“Ooh, ooh, I’m afraid of success.”

“It’s pizza’s fault I’m fat.”

“Oh, I’ll stop sucking later.”

“‘Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky”

airs 8/27 7:00 p.m.

Mayor Quimby: Whether you’re an idealistic stargazer like Lisa or a faded southern belle who needs the forgiving cloak of night to seduce naïve young delivery boys with more pizza than common sense I say Springfield will be the dimmest city in America.

Milhouse: Try-a the cheese-a pizza. It’s greasy like-a you.

“Three Gays of the Condo”

airs 8/27 7:30 p.m.

Homer: Weird Al” Yankovic?!

Weird Al: Marge wrote me about what happened. And as soon as her check cleared, I was on the first reasonably-priced flight here.

Homer: You get the parody songs I sent you?

Weird Al: Ugh, yes.

Homer: Which one was better? “Living La Pizza Loca” or “Another One Bites the Crust”?

Weird Al: They were pretty much the same.

Season 15

“Treehouse of Horror XIV”

airs 8/27 10:30 p.m.

Moe: If I knew this would take so long, I would’ve put on a TV.

Delivery Boy: Pizza!

Moe: Your money’s on the counter. No tip.

Delivery Boy: Oh, you miserable bastard!

Moe: That’s why I’m up here.

“My Mother the Carjacker”

airs 8/27 11:00 p.m.

Homer: “World’s biggest pizza”?! Oh, my God! Marge, wake up! The newspaper’s talking to me!

Marge: Oh, relax. I’m sure it’s just your brain going crazy.

Mrs. Simpson: Pizza was the first food he choked on.

“Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays”

airs 8/28 2:00 a.m.

Luigi: Oh, for the love of pizza!

“I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot”

airs 8/28 2:30 a.m.

Chief Wiggum: It sounds like a motorcycle gang. And we don’t have backup! We’d better lay low.

Lou: But Chief, what if they like pizza?

Chief Wiggum: Way ahead of you, Lou.

“SMarcht and Smarter”

airs 8/28 4:30 a.m.

Bart: This place looks familiar.

Lisa: It used to be The Leaning Tower of Pizza. They just painted the tower brown.

Homer: Either way, everyone who works in the kitchen speaks Spanish.

“Co-Dependent’s Day”

airs 8/28 5:30 a.m.

Lisa: That character is just a tired stereotype.

Luigi: Yes. And it’s making me so mad, how am I gonna throw the meatballs at the screen? But first, I gotta pose for a pizza box.

“Bart-Mangled Banner”

airs 8/28 8:30 a.m.

Mayor Quimby: I am honored to announce that we are changing the name of our town to Libertyville! Every will now cost $17.76

Real Estate Agent: $17.76?! I can’t afford to sell a West Side home for that!

Luigi: But what a fantastical year for pizza by the slice! Charge a-money for a pizza! Buy myself a big-a new car!

Season 16

“All’s Fair in Oven War”

airs 8/28 10:00 a.m.

Marge: Even the Pope couldn’t forgive this pizza and he’s letting a lot of things slide these days.

“Sleeping with the Enemy”

airs 8/28 10:30 a.m.

[everyone leaves party]

Milhouse: [from speakerphone]Hello? Hello? I had to leave ’cause my French bread pizza dinged.

“She Used to Be My Girl”

airs 8/28 11:00 a.m.

Kent Brockman: Channel Six News rocks! A car chase every night, or the weather girl wears a tube top. And if she doesn’t, you win a pizza.

“Don’t Fear the Roofer”

airs 8/28 5:30 p.m.

Professor Frink: Kent, we, um, two theories to explain this.

A: We are in an area very high pressure

or B: God plays bowling.

With the balls, bowling, Shoe rental, very bad pizza cheese served in square shares!

Homer: So what is Stephen Hawking doing here?

Stephen Hawking: I live here now. You’re looking at the new owner of the Little Caesar’s down the street.

Pizza, pizza.

Pizza, pizza.

Pizza, pizza.

Sorry, this button sticks.

Season 17

“The Bonfire of the Manatees”

airs 8/28 8:00 p.m.

Homer: Hello, Marge? Does the pizza guy take a check? If so, where do we keep the checks? And lastly, how do you write a check?

“The Girl Who Slept Too Little”

airs 8/28 8:30 p.m.

Chief Wiggum: I don’t want to, Lou!

Lou: I’ve got a pizza bagel for you.

Chief Wiggum: Let’s roll.

“Milhouse of Sand and Fog”

airs 8/28 9:00 p.m.

Bart: You think that’s traumatic?

Homer: Stomach, are you hungry?

“I’m always hungry. Now make with some pizza, fatso!”

You’re the stomach!

[to Bart]I have to do this for work…

“Marge’s Son Poisoning”

airs 8/28 10:00 p.m.

Marge: Wait, are you sure you’re not just trying to get me make pizza for breakfast?

Homer: Woo-hoo! Pizza for breakfast!

Homer: Hello, Domino’s? What do you mean you’re not open? No, YOU call me back during business hours! I’ll show you who’s a recorded message!

“We’re on the Road to D’ohwhere”

airs 8/29 1:00 a.m.

Bart: The cafeteria loading dock! Look we’re having pizza tomorrow!

Milhouse: I’m gonna eat a lighter breakfast.

“Million Dollar Abie”

airs 8/29 3:30 a.m.

Luigi: If you let me go, I give you free large pizza pie with purchase of same.

Offer not good tuesday through sunday.

We’re closed on monday.

“Regarding Margie”

airs 8/29 5:30 a.m.

Homer: You just walked away from the sweetest most beautiful woman a guy could want. In ten years, she never had the last slice of pizza and she’s never complained.

“The Monkey Suit”

airs 8/29 6:00 a.m.

Son, do you have time for the pizza party? Sure.

Season 18

“The Haw-Hawed Couple”

airs 8/29 10:30 a.m.

Bart: Pizza, that’s a nice touch.

Bart: We had pizza, cake and then sang songs with Nelson’s grandma.

“Yokel Chords”

airs 8/29 1:30 p.m.

Lisa: What kind of lunch is this? A drawing of a sandwich.

Bart: I’ve got Grampa’s medication.

Crazy Old Man: Abe, pull over! You’re not the driver!

Grandpa Simpson: Shut up, pizzas! I’ve gotta deliver you!


airs 8/29 2:30 p.m.

Krusty: What’s the deal with this “California pizza”? If I wanted cheese and fruit…

“The Boys of Bummer”

airs 8/29 3:30 p.m.

Announcer: So, in the amber gloaming of this September afternoon, Shelbyville has the bases loaded, but the Isotots only need one out to win the championship and get that pizza party at Luigi’s!

“Luigi’s, they deliver on flavor, but not to your house!”

“You Kent Always Say What You Want”

airs 8/29 5:30 p.m.

Rainier Wolfcastle: Do you think there’s something going on between those two?

Dracula: To find out, I could turn myself into a bat and follow them around.

Rainier Wolfcastle: Oh, you couldn’t even get our pizza orders right.

Dracula: Every order is half this, half that, it’s confusing!

Season 19

“He Loves to Fly and He D’ohs”

airs 8/29 8:00 p.m.

Mr. Burns: So, Simpson, I hear you like pizza pie.

Homer: I do. My favorite is chicago deep-dish.

“Treehouse of Horror XVIII”

airs 8/29 10:00 p.m.

Marge: So, killing people together has really spiced things up in the bedroom.

Principal Skinner: That’s terrific, but I called you here to discuss your son’s misbehavior on the school bus.


Principal Skinner: Think of me on Pizza Fridays.

“Little Orphan Millie”

airs 8/29 10:30 p.m.

Bart: Anyone want to sit over here? You can have my pizza crust!

“Funeral for a Fiend”

airs 8/29 11:30 p.m.

Luigi: He ordered prank pizzas to 888 Poopy Pants Lane! Poopy Pants Lane ends in the 700 block!

“Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind”

airs 8/30 12:00 a.m.

Lisa: We’re not really your kids. We’re just representations of them that you created in your mind.

Homer: Really? Then if I created all this, that means I can have pizza anytime I want! Hello.

I’d like to order a pizza. 35 minutes?!

Season 20

“Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes”

airs 8/30 6:00 a.m.

Ned: I’ve never seen anyone eat pizza like that.

Homer: You gotta try it. This way the pepperoni stay intact till they reach you stomach. And, bam!”

Ned: Man, that’s harder to swallow than evolution.

Homer: You’ve gotta roll it from the point. Here, let me show you.

Ned: Not bad.

Homer: Let it unfurl in your stomach.

“Double, Double, Boy in Trouble”

airs 8/30 7:00 a.m.

Marge: Bart, honey, I saw you didn’t like your dinner, so I thought you might like pepperoni pizza with the crust cut off.

“Dangerous Curves”

airs 8/30 8:00 a.m.

Sylvia: Marge? You don’t need her, baby. Sylvia’s got everything you want.

Homer: Do you have a pineapple pizza?

Sylvia: Pineapple AND pepperoni.

Homer: Oooh. This is all going so fast!

“Lisa the Drama Queen”

airs 8/30 10:00 a.m.

Marge: These be mini pizzas made from dragon eggs, your majesties.

Lisa: Mom, please don’t do that.

Marge: Who is this mom of which you speak?

Lisa: Mom, stop! This is our thing, not yours.

“How the Test Was Won”

airs 8/30 11:00 a.m.

Superintendent Chalmers: We are throwing you a pizza-party at a bowling alley.

“Wedding for Disaster”

airs 8/30 1:00 p.m.

Homer: Reverend Lovejoy, you deliver pizza now? We didn’t order a pizza. But you forgot the pizza anyway. Marge, the pizza place screwed up again!

Season 21

“Boy Meets Curl”

airs 8/30 10:00 p.m.

Agnes Skinner: Win or lose, I’m taking you out for pizza and ice cream, and we can sit at the same table.

“Stealing First Base”

airs 8/30 11:30 p.m.

Bart: This is awesome! If only real life was in 3-D.

Homer: And the glasses smell like the last guy who wore them had pizza.

Season 22

“Elementary School Musical”

airs 8/31 4:00 a.m.

Lisa: That’s right! Strike the set, pizza party, Saturday morning, and then No!

“The Blue and the Gray”

airs 8/31 10:00 a.m.

Homer: You ever notice that pizzas have gotten so small lately?

Woman: They’re like dimes.

Homer: Yes, that’s exactly it!

Woman: Well, a girl could starve to death!

Gil: Oh, boy, a put-back! I hope it takes me by the freezer section.

Stick my head in the pizza case, it’s like a ski vacation! I can imagine the pepperonis are Swiss chalets nestled in a big layer of mozzarella snow!

“Angry Dad: The Movie”

airs 8/31 10:30 a.m.

Luigi: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some unhappy news to deliver to Sir Anthony Hopkins.

Sir Anthony, your pizza– She’s a-gonna be late.

Anthony Hopkins: Damn you. Damn you to hell!

“A Midsummer’s Nice Dream”

airs 8/31 11:30 a.m.

Marge: Used pizza protectors!

“The Real Housewives of Fat Tony”

airs 8/31 1:00 p.m.

Lisa: Vegetarian food is so boring. Pasta… Soy… You know what’s a bad pizza topping? Broccoli!

Housewife: You missed my first open house as a licensed real estate broker for this brutta puttana?

Patty: I’ve hit on enough pizza boys to know what that means!

Season 23

“The Falcon and the D’ohman”

airs 8/31 3:00 p.m.

Marge: We’ll see who gets their pick of pizza pockets!

“The Book Job”

airs 8/31 5:30 p.m.

Principal Skinner: I’m the pizza delivery man.

Guard: We didn’t order a pizza.

Principal Skinner: No, of course you didn’t. The establishment I work for delivers pizzas to everyone, and then gives the customer the option of accepting or refusing delivery.

Guard: That’s a terrible business strategy.

Principal Skinner: No, no, it’s quite sound.

Guard: Okay, fine. Where’s the pizza?

Principal Skinner: Pizza?

“The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants”

airs 8/31 6:00 p.m.

Bart: Hey, I wrote the application. Do any of my friends get to come?

Marketer: One friend. He can listen to music with headphones on, he gets one slice of cheese pizza, and if the party gets slow, he has to pretend to let Krusty save him from drowning.

“Moe Goes from Rags to Riches”

airs 8/31 8:30 p.m.

Lisa: Your bar is the closest thing this town has to an Algonquin roundtable.

Moe: What about that Round Table Pizza run by that Algonquin guy?

Lisa: Yeah, yeah, okay, second closest.

“Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart”

airs 8/31 10:00 p.m.

Homer: Son, do you have a minute? I’ve been thinking.

I really shouldn’t have put you in there and left you there while we were having pizza without you.

So I’m gonna let you out with my apologies.

“Them, Robot”

airs 8/31 11:00 p.m.

Marge: It’s no fun to live in a town with a 99% unemployment rate.

Luigi: Things are so bad. Look at what happened to the man on my pizza box.

“Ned ‘n Edna’s Blend”

airs 9/1 1:00 a.m.

Ned: Oh, this could go late. We haven’t even ordered pizzas and pop yet.

Edna Krabappel: Look, I’m a chalk jockey, too, so don’t slap ketchup on bread and tell me it’s Pizza Friday.

“Lisa Goes Gaga”

airs 9/1 1:30 a.m.

Bart: Hey, Lis, some fifth graders are having a make-your-own pizza party at Flesh-In-The-Pan Pizza, and wanted me to invite you.

Lisa: Fifth graders? Ooh-la-la! They get to put their desks in a circle!

Season 24

“Treehouse of Horror XXIII”

airs 9/1 2:30 a.m.

Kirk Van Houten: I’m still proud of you, buddy.

And look! I got money to take you for pizza!

You saw that I had the money, right?

“A Tree Grows in Springfield”

airs 9/1 4:30 a.m.

Homer: Now, Maggie, let’s find a good game for us.

Hmm, “Krusty’s Kosher Karnival” “Words with Enemies” “Don’t Burn the Toast,” “Lenny Dykstra’s Prison Break” ooh, “Pizza Clock!” Dough, sauce, cheese, topping.

Dough, sauce, cheese, topping.

Dough, sauce, cheese, topping.

Having fun, Maggie?

Homer: Dough, sauce, cheese, topping.

Luigi: So that’s how you make a pizza? Ooh, we really have been off-a the mark.

“The Changing of the Guardian”

airs 9/1 7:00 a.m.

Chief Wiggum: Uh, now we’re ordering some lunch. Wanna go halfsies on a pizza?

Lou: FYI, that means you get one slice.

Chief Wiggum: Okay, wise guy, you get to pull out the two corpses when we’re done.

“What Animated Women Want”

airs 9/1 10:00 a.m.

Marge: What are you doing home from work?

Homer: I’m fighting for you, babe. Fighting like I would for the last slice of cold pizza in the box.

Season 25


airs 9/1 2:30 p.m.

Life Coach: I want to help you fulfill some of your childhood dreams.

Homer: Really? Now? I have two pizzas coming.

I wanted to see who would get here first.

“The Kid Is All Right”

airs 9/1 3:30 p.m.

Milhouse: Miss Simpson, your platform calls for the creation of a student-run garden.

Lisa: Organic gardening is an essential part of 21st century education, teaching both hands-on…

Bart: And what programs would you cut to pay for this precious garden of yours? The new Wiffle bats? Pizza Friday?

Milhouse: Not Pizza Friday! Sorry, Lisa, you lose again.


airs 9/1 9:00 p.m.

Lisa: Huh? Are you okay? Don’t put more in there!

Lucas: Going for the record.

Lisa: What record? Stupidest death?

Lucas: Aah! Blagh! Merci beaucoup!

Lisa: Oh, well, you’re very wel…

Lucas: That’s French for “hello.”

Lisa: Actually, I think it…

Lucas: Lucas Bortner, competitive eater.

Lisa: What does a competitive eater eat?

Lucas: All the glamour foods: pizza, boiled eggs, chicken wings and the big enchilada, which is not enchiladas but hot dogs.

Lisa: Can I join you for lunch?

Lucas: Um, sure. How many whole pizzas would you like?

Lisa: Um, can I just have a slice?

Lucas: Interesting technique.

“Brick Like Me”

airs 9/1 10:30 p.m.

[Line 214 – around minute 18]

But I miss burning my mouth on pizza, and David Blaine stunts where he could really die.

“Pay Pal”

airs 9/1 11:00 p.m.

Lisa: What’s for dinner?

Marge: Pizza. Mmm.

Homer: Lots of pizza.

“The Yellow Badge of Cowardge”

airs 9/1 11:30 p.m.

Marge: The city’s broke. The fire department has to raise money by delivering pizza.

Woman: My baby! …Back ribs!